Death at the Rose and Crown
by BlackLegLuffy
Summary: AU Mr. Arthur Kirkland harbored massive amounts of loathing of every ounce of the being of a young man by the name of Alfred Fitzgerald Jones. So much, that he was willing to resort to murder.


Mr. Arthur Kirkland harbored massive amounts of loathing of every ounce of the being of a young man by the name of Alfred Fitzgerald Jones. Mr. Kirkland was willing to do anything in his power to rid himself of the incompetent, forgetful, and, in Mr. Kirkland's opinion, quite insufferable young lad. So insufferable, that Mr. Arthur Kirkland was willing to murder.

Given that Alfred Fitzgerald Jones was the unfortunate co-worker of Mr. Arthur Kirkland in some sort of business expenditures, the two were forced into situations where they would have to constantly spend time with each other. For Alfred, this seemed to be not much of a problem at all; in fact, he seemed to quite enjoy Arthur's company. He often (in lengthy tales, mind you), described Mr. Arthur Kirkland as an acquaintance, and on those sparse nights when he was a bit inebriated, Mr. Kirkland would be depicted as a "best friend."

Obviously Mr. Arthur Kirkland believed quite the antithesis; constantly was Arthur at Alfred's neck, or slyly calling him a bungling incompetent who wishes to drive Arthur to an early death. That statement wasn't exactly false, but any joke Alfred would play, or insult he would utter, would slowly push Alfred over the edge. Never would Alfred think that Arthur was taking him too seriously.

It was soon that their relationship took a sharp turn for the worse. During one of their many monthly meetings to discuss finances and business works, Mr. Kirkland and Mr. Jones found themselves in a nasty altercation over something extremely frivolous: whether or not they should be drinking tea or coffee.

As per usual, Arthur and Alfred exchanged nasty words of resentment towards one another. Although Alfred was constantly called incompetent, he was not exactly stupid. He quickly picked up on Arthur's hostile tone, and got quite worried about the "old man", as Alfred liked to call him.

"Iggy, dude, are you okay?", Alfred muttered.

"First of all, you git, my name is Arthur. To you, it's Mr. Kirkland. And second of all, I am quite pleasant. Your annoyances are just overbearing."

"Are you sure Igg- I mean, Mr. Kirkland? You know I'm only joking, right? You seem kind of hostile; different than the usual."

"Did I not already say I'm fine? Hostile? Who said I was acting hostile?", Arthur defensively added. "You must have consumed too many of those American hamburgers of yours.

"Do you promise, Mr. Kirkland? And by the way, absolutely nothing is wrong with hamburgers."

"Cross my heart and hope to die", Arthur muttered sarcastically and even added an eye roll for emphasis. "In fact, to show how lighthearted I am, I will invite you to go drinking with me. Tonight around 8, meet me at the Rose and Crown pub. I believe you know of its location. I will look forward to seeing you there."

Alfred gladly accepted the seemingly innocent offer, smiled widely and went about his business for the day, not knowing the truth behind some of Arthur's harsh words or the sarcasm he inflected upon others.

That same night was the night that Mr. Kirkland planned to rid himself of Mr. Alfred Jones. His plan was simple and quite infallible. He would obtain a clear but powerful poison that would quickly kill anyone who consumed it. He would then proceed to get Mr. Alfred Jones inebriated beyond belief, and then go about slipping the poison in Mr. Jones' drink.

The poison would have a minty taste so Mr. Jones would just assume it was another kind of flavoring. Arthur Kirkland was proud of the master plan that he concocted, and then set out to obtain the poison and meet Mr. Jones at the Rose and Crown Pub at 8 PM, as promised.

Upon entering the Rose and Crown, Arthur noticed that Alfred had made it there early, and was already consuming shots of what Arthur perceived to be hard liqueur. Arthur approached Alfred and greeted him warmly, uncharacteristic to his usual behavior.

Arthur then began an engaging and distracting conversation about politics and sports, and would occasionally feel around in his own pocket to make sure that the key to his success was still there. Both of them began to consume more drinks, and soon enough Alfred had to excuse himself to use the facilities. Now was Arthur's chance. He glanced at what he perceived to be Alfred's drink and slipped the clear poison into it. He then excused himself as well, to also use the facilities.

When Arthur returned to where he was sitting, he met Alfred consuming his poisoned drink. Arthur began to get giddy as he waited for Alfred to drop across the table, lifeless. Ah, how his pain would soon be over. Suddenly, Alfred clutched his heart, let out a cry of absolute and utter pain, and passed out against the table.

Alfred Fitzgerald Jones was dead. As clamor was formed around the death of Alfred, Arthur believed that he should take a celebratory drink. He walked up to where his drink was, reached for it, and downed it in one gulp. Arthur then dropped to the ground. Mr. Arthur Kirkland was also dead. Sober pub-goers called the police and the ambulance and both Mr. Kirkland and Mr. Jones were brought to the hospital.

An autopsy was later preformed on both of their bodies. The doctors diagnosis for the cause of death for both of the patients were as follows: Mr. Alfred Fitzgerald Jones had died from, cardiac arrest due to drug-related causes. Mr. Jones was suffering from a head cold, and took simple medication to ease his pain.

However, he had consumed his supplements with massive amounts of alcohol which would exacerbate the effects of the drugs. He had an instant heart attack and died. Mr. Kirkland had died from exposure to poison. Not much could be found about how he had become poisoned, but the police offered one clue: Mr. Kirkland had oddly minty breath at the time of his death.


End file.
